The 'hospital' that wasn't a real hospital to begin with....

The first time I got there, the sun was shining and birds where singing in the trees and I thought....huh, that doesn't sound like a beginning of a horror story....
But when we finally found the front door (really it was well hidden as if it was a secret drug house, imagine that!) and we rung the bell...or actually my father did when he saw that I wasn't going to do it, a man opened the door and it felt like the rain was poring down and it was cloudy and storming exactly like in a horror story... I got so afraid I tried to hide behind my parents, but they betrayed me and pushed me to the front door and told me to shake this....this dragons hand...
After luckily someone else showing me around the place, my parents and I came to the conclusion...that I wasn't going, and I ain't making that up either. That place looked like it was falling apart. Everything was old and I had to share the room with two other girls and on the walls someone had written down suicide thoughts. Someone else (probably the staff) had tried to remove it, but without succes because we could all see that this girl really wanted to go to wonderland.

That's actually when the spider came in and told my mother and I: "You need to see the sun behind the clouds. It's not the building, but the help she needs, because can you tell me that you can watch her 24/7?" He asked my mother very tactfully. When she said no, he didn't see another option than sending me there and because I was fourteen and had no backbone whats-so-ever...I went.

The Spider with a short end

I didn't know the Spider and I never spoke with him before. I always talked to a fairy, who was always mad at me for ignoring her. She was too young and tried too hard to sound like a wise old woman. With her long skirt and blouse and her hair tight in a bun on her head, yeah no...she didn't fool me.

So...one day when we were in the middle of an conversation or actually she was preaching about life, she stood up and said to me: 'I'm just going to discuss with my college for a few seconds.' and she left.

Well, good, I thought. Let's get someone who maybe knows some good shit. Some wizard hidden in a closet with magic pills to make me better. Let's tell your boss that you're screwing up....

And that's...when I met the Spider. You know spiders weave those nets and try to catch stupid flies....those flies are the dreams and he caught my dreams...and ate them....
When the fairy came back from 'discussing my problems with a college' She told me she called my mother instead.
I looked her straight in the eye and said: "Why? I feel great, actually I have never felt better. All cured and all, good job! Excellent.." Okay maybe I only said the first part out loud, but I thought the rest.
With her chin high, she looked like a posh queen shaking her head down at her maid that had not cleaned her shoes properly. I felt like that maid too....utterly unbelievable that I just cleaned her shoes and thrown some glitter over it for good measure.
She didn't even react to my proclamation of miraculously healing. While still shaking her head at me she said: "No, this is not going to work at all....You are going to be admitted to a hospital as soon as possible...probably tomorrow, if not today."
Yes...she had great ideas and I wish I could have come back in time and thrown the glitter in her facing with my brilliant comeback: "No, it will take a week!"

Cause it did take a week....had to fool a teacher into believing that, no I couldn't take the test on Friday, but I would absolutely take it another time.
And when I was sitting on my mothers lap (because there weren't more chairs, not because I was a total head-case...although the spider must have been against that) in front of the spider, that I had never talked to before...he sealed the final nail into my little girls coffin...."She's going!"
And that was the spider with the short end....because I never talked to him again, but if you ask me, how come you got admitted when you were fourteen, I will always say the same....the spider was the one that stole my dreams over happily ever after...
Not a short end after all....phuh

Mushroom whiplash

I wish I could tell you that after that everything went back to normal and I lived happily ever after. I wish that I grown up with a normal childhood, played with friends and when I got older did everything that all teenagers do in this world. I would go to collage, finish my degree and have a bad-ass job with a lot of friends.
But......Mad Hatter didn't really gave me something that cured all my problems. In fact....sometimes I think that if I hadn't taken it, things would have turned out differently.

I can't pinpoint out exactly the moment that I realized things were getting worse. The mushroom I ate, did make me forget...but it made everything unreliable. I got confused and lost. I would sometimes walk somewhere and simple not remember how I got there.

That's when...that's when I met the Spider....

The villain...

Every story (or most of them) have a villain. Alice had the evil Red Queen (of with the head!) and I? I had a dragon in disguise. You see, I didn't knew he was a dragon when I met him. He seemed so nice and funny. He looked more like the rabbit from Alice, and so I followed him. He didn't hold a pocket watch in his hand and he didn't told me to hurry up, but what he did have was a white horse. My childish mind, told me this could be the guy. This could be The One. The prince on the white horse.
I don't have to tell you, that didn't end very well. I would go over those horrific events if....I hadn't met Mad Hatter the next day.

I was crying. everything hurt and I just didn't understand. There were no reasonable explanations that could have settled my disturbed mind. I needed a solution, because if...
That's when I met Mad Hatter. He hopped beside me with bunny legs. I couldn't even laugh because I was too sad.
"Its your fault!" I yelled at the rabbit-like-creature.
The rabbit-creature didn't seem insulted or even impressed. He just picked his hat out of his pocket and pushed it on his head.
"It's the madness in the hat." he told me when I stared at his weird mega purple hat.
"I just don't understand." I told him, because nothing made sense anymore.
"Well...what options you've got?" he asked.
"I don't know!"
"You don't know much, do you little one?" he said getting irritated. "But I'm feeling generous today, here eat this." he said and he gave me a mushroom.
"What is it for?" I asked him, eyeing the weirdly looking mushroom suspiciously.
"I forgot, Maddy Madness" he said, giving me my new nickname that would stick for years to come.

Mad Hatter hopped away and I was left with a mushroom that could mean the remedial of all my problems. I didn't have anything else and I was desperate for any kind of relief. I tapped my feet three times together for luck (you can always try right?) and ate the mushroom.

The next day, the only thing I still remembered, was the meeting with Mad Hatter and although I did know something terrible had happened with a disguised dragon, the details were gone.
That's how I met Mad Hatter and the villain.

The start of wonderland

We all know the story about Alice who fell in the rabbit hole, at least people with a good taste of stories do. There are a lot of writers who wrote stories about how Alice must have been crazy and I have to confess I read them all.
But this blog is not going to be about Alice or rabbits. It's going to be about my own struggle with dragons, knights and a little bit of fairy dust. I know what you're thinking, oh no, not another wannabe fantasy writer, I thought this was going to be a blog about real shit and stuff. Don't be alarmed my friend, because sometimes craziness is around the corner and real dragons roam the world in their disguise.

This could be the point, that you are skipping through another blog or page. Not interested to read stuff on a TL lighted screen with letters that are too small to read. Doesn't matter, if I'm honest. I'm still going to dump my story on this blog anyways.

So here's how it happened....